FAQs

First a little shout out to Speech and Drama students:
Hey, y'all! I'm happy and honored to have you adapt material from Bald in the Land of Big Hair for UIL competition. For the paperwork, I was born in Wisconsin, but I am considered a Texas author. FYI: My son Malachi is named after a Hebrew prophet. Pronounced mal (rhymes with pal) uh (rhymes with duh) ki (rhymes with sky). My daughter Jerusha is named after a wise Hebrew queen, but I stole that idea from the James Michener book Hawaii. (Great book. Check it out.) If you have any other questions or just want to say hey, flip me an email. I'd love to hear from you. Break a leg!

"My book group is reading one of your books. Will you come to our meeting?"
Will there be pie? Your chances of getting me to visit are greatly enhanced by a nice selection of pies. Seriously, I love love LOVE book group discussions, and I will go out of my way to participate in your meeting if I can. I'll try to participate via online chat or on speaker phone if I can't be there in person. Let me know when and where, and we'll see what we can work out.

"How do you get ideas for your novels?"
Look at the gorgeously messed up, beautifully intertwined, and outrageously human world we live in. And I live in the South. How does one NOT get ideas?

"Did you always want to be a writer?"
Yes. But I didn't always know it.

"They say all fiction is autobiographical. Are your novels based on your life?"
No. I draw on things I observe, but I don't base characters on myself or anyone specific. Joyce Carol Oates compares the process to the way a bird builds a nest; flying here and there, gathering a little twig of this and a little shred of that. My objective is not to reveal something about myself to the reader. My objective is to reveal something about the reader to herself.

"Who are your favorite and least favorite authors?"
Old school: I love Flannery O'Connor, Carson McCullers, Eudora Welty, and of course, the good ol' boys like Hemingway, Falkner, and Steinbeck. Contemporary authors I love include Toni Morrison, Anne Tyler, Laura Esquivel, Pam Houston, Dave Eggers, and Sherman Alexie. As for least favorite, I'm reluctant to bash by name any author who's brave enough to put his or her work out there.

"How did you get your first book published? And more important, how can I get my first book published?"
My first book: Long story. You can read about it in my memoir Bald in the Land of Big Hair, because being pulled out of the slush pile was an important part of my recovery from cancer treatment. Your first book: In a nutshell, it takes the skin of an armadillo, the tenacity of a termite, and the patient fortitude of a freeway-crossing turtle. Pick your power animal, hang tough, and always act like a professional.

"I loved your syndicated column "Earth to Joni". Why aren't you writing it anymore?"
It's tough to focus on a book project with that weekly deadline breathing down one's neck. I loved doing the column, though, and I hope to go back to it someday--between books. Meanwhile, you can stroll down memory lane via the "Earth to Joni" archives.

"I have written the next great American novel. Will you read it and introduce me to your agent?"
No. For reasons too numerous to mention. But I truly wish you the best.

"I have written a memoir about my cancer experience. Will you read it and write a promotional blurb?"
If it's a bound galley from a publisher, I'll try to find time for it. No promises. But I truly wish you the best.

"I've had a fascinating life. Will you co-author my memoir?"
Will you come to my house and do my laundry for a year? The memoir process is a healing journey, and I totally encourage you to pursue it. I can only do a very limited number of these time-consuming projects, however, so those tend to be fairly high profile gigs arranged through my literary agent.

"I may or may not have read any of your books, and I think you are a horrible bitch/flaky liberal/chubby pornography-scribbling slattern/bad mother who should burn in hell!"
Peace be with you.

VITAL STATS
Name: Joni R. L. Rodgers

Height: 5’12”

Weight: yes

Marital Status: Happy

Religious Affiliation: I invented a new religion I like to call "Jewbuddistianity"

Checkered Past/Odd Jobs: Vagabond Player, forest fire lookout, old school DJ, bull semen dispatcher, Dulci the Singing Clown

Brushes With Greatness: Lifted over a fence at Monroe County fairgrounds by astronaut Deke Slayton, on same People page as Jim and Tammy Fay

Secret Recipe: “Peel back foil and heat.”

Coolness Points Awarded for: having tattoo, listening to Metallica, having same dog as Johnny Quest

Coolness Points Deducted for: wearing sensible shoes, listening to Zamphir Master of the Pan Flute, having same dog as W

Mission Statement: “In dwelling, live close to the ground. In working, do what you love. In family life, be fully present.” (Tao te Ching)

Alternate Mission Statement: “Please pull forward to the next window.”